1/31/09
I Have Been A Thinking......
A very close friend of mine and I were talking just last week about our mortality. He is several years younger than me,but he said as he gets older (fastly appoaching 40!!) he has notice he thinks more and more about the end of his life. I had to tell him that I was about his age when it first struck me that I was getting older and I wasn't going to live forever. I know for me, when I was in my 20s and early 30's, I never thought much about that fact that I would die one day. I was too busy starting out my life in my 20's and too busy having fun and enjoying life in my early 30's (not that I don't enjoy life and have fun now,I really do) to really think about it.
But as I approached 40, I too noticed it was on my mind more and more. During my 30's the AIDS epidemic was in full swing and I was busy taking care of friends who were sick and dying. At one point I stopped and realized I had lost 19 friends in a year and half to HIV/AIDS, and that did not count people I just knew, these were guys I was close to. Most of them I had physically taken care of while they were sick and many of them I was with when they passed on. But still, it did not hit me about ME until I was approaching 40.
Now I am almost 56 and the thought of me not being here one day has again crept into my thinking. I think we all know in the back of our minds that one day we are not going to be here anymore, it is just a fact of life. But I bet not a one of gets up in the morning with the thought "that today could be my last day'.
What really got me thinking about this I think was the car accident Patrick and I were in last month. Now I am not gonna get all Drama Queen on you here, but the swiftness of the accident really scared me. Patrick and I had just left the home of some of our very dear friends and were on our way to a Christmas Concert we both really enjoy each year and alway look forward to. We were both in great spirits and had been talking and laughing together when out of no where, the car coming up behind us way too fast on the freeway, hit us and sent us spinning around on the freeway. From the time of impact until we stopped spinning, it seemed everything was happening in slow motion. The freeway was super packed that night in all lanes in the direction we were traveling. Just a very short distance ahead, we would have exited the freeway. Just before the impact I had checked my rearview mirror and saw that the closet car behind us was 4 or 5 car lengths behind us. Neither of us in our wildest dreams ever thought we would be in a car accident that night.
When the car hit us from behind, the main point of impact was just behind the rear wheel on the driver's side. It was not a full rear end contact, But the passenger side of her front bumper made contact with the driver's side of my bumper. When she hit us, she actually pushed us for a few feet before her bumper fell off and sent us spinning..away from the main traffic and onto the exit ramp we had just passed.
Had she hit us full force in the center of the bumper, Patrick and I both would have probably sustained some serious injuries AND had she hit us more on the passenger side of our bumper, it would had sent us spinning to the left and directly into the main flow of traffic on the freeway, which just would not have been a good thing.
Thankfully, after it was all over, we were ok. Shaken up, o yes! But we were ok.
Thinking about what could have possibly happened, really had me shaken up for several days. Either one of us or both of us might not be here today if things had worked out differently.
Today here in LA was a very beautiful day. Clear skies, warm temptatures,just really a gorgeous day. Patrick and I went to have Dim Sum with some friends we have not seen in long time. After Dim Sum Patrick and I went over to Circiut City in Pasadena to see what kind of sale they were having since they are closing all their stores.
After we left there we decided to drive home by going through Pasaenda instead of taking the freeway back. We were driving down Colorado Blvd with the windows down, enjoying the day and listening to some music. As we drove down Colorado Blvd we passed a guy riding his bike on the side of the road, in our lane going the same direction we were. Ever since I have met and become good friends with my work buddy, Jill, I tend to notice bike riders more because Jill in an avid bike rider herself and we have discussed bike safety several times. I noticed the guy had on his helmet and had the correct reflectors on his bike and he was riding in the bike lane as we passed him. As we passed him I admired him for being out there riding his bike and getting his excerise.
Patrick and I went on our way and were several blocks ahead of the biker when I checked the traffic in my rear view mirror, just in time to see a car run
the light and slam into the biker we had just passed. I was speechless, I saw the bike go up in the air along with the rider. When the guy hit the pavement he rolled some, laid there and then tried to sit up. I told Patrick what I had just seen as we were sitting there waiting for out own light to change. I was not sure what we should do since we were several blocks away but as I watched several people jumped into action, one woman jumped out of her car and stopped all the traffic while several other people ran to help him. The police were just a block ahead of us and they headed back in the direction of the accident. The thought that kept racing though my mind was how sudden it had all happened. The biker surely had not thought someone would hit him today. He had taken all the safety precautions he was suppose to and was doing just what he was suppose to do.
I guess what I would like for all of us to get out of this is, we really don't know when something could happen, and we will no longer be here to enjoy our lives. In the world we live in today, we all get bombared with all the negative stuff that is happening in our world everyday. We get so caught up in things going on in our lives and in the lives around us that we forget that the most important thing in our lives, is not all the "stuff" that is going on in our lives, but the most important thing in our lives are the people we love in our lives. We tend to forget how important they are to us and we are to them. We tend to forget to let them know how imporant they are to us and how much we care about them and love them. We get so caught up trying to make a living that we forget about making a life for ourselves and the ones we love.
If just for today, tell the people who are important to you in your life, that they are important to you. Maybe you just take it for granted that they know. It is always so awesome when someone tells me they care about me and I am special to them.
Every morning when I leave for work, I hug and kiss Patrick and tell him I love him. I do this not out of habit, but because I am afraid something could happen to me on my commute to and from work, and I may not get to tell him again. You just never know.
later
ps. they did find the person who hit us and left the scene. It is a woman who lives in Van Nuys. They have made several attempts to contact her by going to her house but when I last checked, they had not been able to speak to her. They have sent her a certified letter and there will be a warrant out on her, so sooner or later she will show up.
But as I approached 40, I too noticed it was on my mind more and more. During my 30's the AIDS epidemic was in full swing and I was busy taking care of friends who were sick and dying. At one point I stopped and realized I had lost 19 friends in a year and half to HIV/AIDS, and that did not count people I just knew, these were guys I was close to. Most of them I had physically taken care of while they were sick and many of them I was with when they passed on. But still, it did not hit me about ME until I was approaching 40.
Now I am almost 56 and the thought of me not being here one day has again crept into my thinking. I think we all know in the back of our minds that one day we are not going to be here anymore, it is just a fact of life. But I bet not a one of gets up in the morning with the thought "that today could be my last day'.
What really got me thinking about this I think was the car accident Patrick and I were in last month. Now I am not gonna get all Drama Queen on you here, but the swiftness of the accident really scared me. Patrick and I had just left the home of some of our very dear friends and were on our way to a Christmas Concert we both really enjoy each year and alway look forward to. We were both in great spirits and had been talking and laughing together when out of no where, the car coming up behind us way too fast on the freeway, hit us and sent us spinning around on the freeway. From the time of impact until we stopped spinning, it seemed everything was happening in slow motion. The freeway was super packed that night in all lanes in the direction we were traveling. Just a very short distance ahead, we would have exited the freeway. Just before the impact I had checked my rearview mirror and saw that the closet car behind us was 4 or 5 car lengths behind us. Neither of us in our wildest dreams ever thought we would be in a car accident that night.
When the car hit us from behind, the main point of impact was just behind the rear wheel on the driver's side. It was not a full rear end contact, But the passenger side of her front bumper made contact with the driver's side of my bumper. When she hit us, she actually pushed us for a few feet before her bumper fell off and sent us spinning..away from the main traffic and onto the exit ramp we had just passed.
Had she hit us full force in the center of the bumper, Patrick and I both would have probably sustained some serious injuries AND had she hit us more on the passenger side of our bumper, it would had sent us spinning to the left and directly into the main flow of traffic on the freeway, which just would not have been a good thing.
Thankfully, after it was all over, we were ok. Shaken up, o yes! But we were ok.
Thinking about what could have possibly happened, really had me shaken up for several days. Either one of us or both of us might not be here today if things had worked out differently.
Today here in LA was a very beautiful day. Clear skies, warm temptatures,just really a gorgeous day. Patrick and I went to have Dim Sum with some friends we have not seen in long time. After Dim Sum Patrick and I went over to Circiut City in Pasadena to see what kind of sale they were having since they are closing all their stores.
After we left there we decided to drive home by going through Pasaenda instead of taking the freeway back. We were driving down Colorado Blvd with the windows down, enjoying the day and listening to some music. As we drove down Colorado Blvd we passed a guy riding his bike on the side of the road, in our lane going the same direction we were. Ever since I have met and become good friends with my work buddy, Jill, I tend to notice bike riders more because Jill in an avid bike rider herself and we have discussed bike safety several times. I noticed the guy had on his helmet and had the correct reflectors on his bike and he was riding in the bike lane as we passed him. As we passed him I admired him for being out there riding his bike and getting his excerise.
Patrick and I went on our way and were several blocks ahead of the biker when I checked the traffic in my rear view mirror, just in time to see a car run
the light and slam into the biker we had just passed. I was speechless, I saw the bike go up in the air along with the rider. When the guy hit the pavement he rolled some, laid there and then tried to sit up. I told Patrick what I had just seen as we were sitting there waiting for out own light to change. I was not sure what we should do since we were several blocks away but as I watched several people jumped into action, one woman jumped out of her car and stopped all the traffic while several other people ran to help him. The police were just a block ahead of us and they headed back in the direction of the accident. The thought that kept racing though my mind was how sudden it had all happened. The biker surely had not thought someone would hit him today. He had taken all the safety precautions he was suppose to and was doing just what he was suppose to do.
I guess what I would like for all of us to get out of this is, we really don't know when something could happen, and we will no longer be here to enjoy our lives. In the world we live in today, we all get bombared with all the negative stuff that is happening in our world everyday. We get so caught up in things going on in our lives and in the lives around us that we forget that the most important thing in our lives, is not all the "stuff" that is going on in our lives, but the most important thing in our lives are the people we love in our lives. We tend to forget how important they are to us and we are to them. We tend to forget to let them know how imporant they are to us and how much we care about them and love them. We get so caught up trying to make a living that we forget about making a life for ourselves and the ones we love.
If just for today, tell the people who are important to you in your life, that they are important to you. Maybe you just take it for granted that they know. It is always so awesome when someone tells me they care about me and I am special to them.
Every morning when I leave for work, I hug and kiss Patrick and tell him I love him. I do this not out of habit, but because I am afraid something could happen to me on my commute to and from work, and I may not get to tell him again. You just never know.
later
ps. they did find the person who hit us and left the scene. It is a woman who lives in Van Nuys. They have made several attempts to contact her by going to her house but when I last checked, they had not been able to speak to her. They have sent her a certified letter and there will be a warrant out on her, so sooner or later she will show up.
1/20/09
Times Thay Are A Changing...thank goodness!!!
Today was a day that I honestly never thought I would see in my lifetime, I could not miss it, so I took the day off so I could be sure and watch it on TV. That event of course was the inauguration of President Barack Obama.
You see, I grew up in the South during the later part of the 1950's and 60's and early 70's. I have VERY vivid memories of what life was like during those times.
I remember very well that that every place that had restrooms had 3, men's, woman's and blacks. I remember also everywhere there was a water fountain, there were 2, one for the white folks(not marked) and one for the colored folks (alway with a big sign over it).I remember going to the movies at the Pines Theater in Silsbee where I grew up and being able to walk through the front door of the the theater while the black kids could only enter in through a door in the ally and they sat up in the balcony and they better not make any noise, or they would stop the movie and clear everyone out of the balcony, and then resume the movie. I remember going to the Drug Store for my Mom and when you went to the counter to pick up the meds, there was this tiny window behind the counter on the far end, and that is where
the black folks would pick up their meds, once they entered the back door of the pharmacy, again through the ally.
I will always remember one Saturday morning when I was around 11 or 12 and I had ridden my bike to town for something, I had parked it in the bike rack by the library and was headed to the 5 and dime store. As I was walking down the side walk and elderly black man was walking toward me and as I got close to him, he stepped off the side walk into the street until I had passed and then he got back on the side walk and continue to where he was going. You see, if a black person was actually walking on the sidewalk down town (and not taking the ally), anytime
a white person approached them on the sidewalk, they would have to step off the sidewalk and let the white person pass.
They actually did live "on the other side of the tracks" in the town I grew up in and they had their "part" of town they lived in, and it was to their best interest not be be on "the wrong side of the tracks" after night fall.
I was in the 9th grade when they intergrated the schools in Silsbee. It was a VERY BIG deal. I honestly remember the first week or so of that school year, there was so much tension in the air. It actually took till the mid semester for things to finally calm down. There were a few fights here and there and of course the name calling from time to time. By the time I graduated it was a "no big deal" thing.
Obama said in his speech today that his own Father, 60 years ago would probably not be able to eat at the front counter of any restruant. I know that is a fact in the part of the country I grew up in.
I can remember seeing the crosses burning in fields and sometimes in people's yards.
The KKK was a big thing in area I grew up in, although except for the burning crosses, I never saw them.
When I share stories with people of what it was like back then, they either think I am making it up or I saw it in a movie. But it was real, very real. It was that way not just in the small town I lived, it was that way everywhere in the South.
And I really hate to tell you, but Racism is still very much alive in many areas of the South even today. It was only a few short years ago that a friend of mine from Texas called me and she was very upset. You see, she was upset because the Church she as a member of and had been attending for several years, was thinking of letting Black people start going to Church there. She was livid. She asked me if the Churches here in California allowed Black people to attend the While Churches. I was really taken back, I told her we did not have "White" Churches in California, every church I knew of allowed all races to attend them. I know the Church I was a member of at the time had Blacks, Whites, Asians and everything in between. I did not dare tell her we also had Gay and Lesbian members, I somehow did not think her blood pressure could handle it. Having lived in California for so many years I forget what it is like back there and how far behind the times they can be. ( Just a foot note here, when I took Patrick to Texas the first time to meet my family, my Mom got
excited when she realized we would be there on a Sunday, she told me we just had to go to Church with her while we were there since itwas the Church I grew up in and so many people would be excited to see me. I just looked at her and told her, "Mom we can't go, Patrick is Asian, remember?" You should have seen the look on her face when it hit her I was right, they only allow White people to attend the Church, and this was only 6 or 7 years ago)
So you see, I HAD to be able to witness the events of the inaguruation today. It is a day I have long dreamed of for our Nation, but honestly never thought I would see in my life time. I sat in our living room and watched him take the oath of office and I had tears rolling down my face. My heart was so full and I had goose bumps too.
I was a mess! But I was a very happy mess. It gives me great hope for our country and our people. I do not think he is a Superman and I know he doesn't have all the answers. BUT I think he can start the change we need in our Country. He has not made any big promises of what he can do, all along he has told us we were all going to have to work together to make this change possible.
He also gives me hope that one day I will be able to witness the inauguration of our first Gay or Lesbian President. I know it will happen, and I hope it is within my life time.
later
1/16/09
Summertime in January.....
For those of you who read my blog and do not live in Southern California, let me let you in on something..IT HOT HERE!! Yes,I know alot of the Country is experiencing zero tempts and below, but not here in good old Southern Californa, we are having a taste of Summer time in January.
Also for those of you who may not know, being at the beach on any day of the week, is my most favorite thing in the whole wide world, ok well second most favorite thing, not telling you what my favorite thing is, but I bet it high on your list too!! So after all the stress that has been going on around here the last few weeks with the car thing, I decided last Sunday to go down to the ocean for awhile. Now I am not lying at all when I say we have been having some REALLY beautiful weather the last week or so. Last Sunday was just wonderful, clear skies and warm tempts. So after breakfast, Taffie and I headed west on our first little road trip together.
One of the places I really enjoy going is White Point Bluffs on San Pedro. I am going to be doing a post with pictues very soon about the park there, but on Sunday
I went to the Bluffs. It was just tremendous. You could see Catalina Island, and some small fishing boats and sail boats. After hiking the short way from the road to the bluffs, I just sat down and took it all in. I watched some seals playing in the water and a whole bunch of dolphins swimming around playing and eating. Someone told me it was whale migrating season, but I did not see any whales. I have before, but not on Sunday.
After setting there for an hour or so, I decided I needed to get something to eat, so I drove into San Pedro and got a Subway sandwich and drove back to the beach area but this time I went to another favorite spot, the Korean Bell park.(again, another post!) I sat on the bluff over looking the ocean and ate my sandwich with a couple of new found buddies, 2 seagulls. I kept an eye on them and they were keeping an eye on my sandwich and chips!
It was really a wonderful, stress relieving morning. It was so relaxing, I drove home and too a nap!!
later!
All The Pretty Colors!!
My friend Timmy posted this pic on my MY Space page the other day ! See all the pretty colors that Taffi comes in!!!!! I bet you would have had a hard time deciding to!!!
White Is The New Orange
I know in a previous post or two I told you I had my eye on a replacement for Andy, AND I told you the one I had my eye on was a metallic orange (which surprised no one!) well, I did find Andy's replacement, and it is the car I really wanted to get BUT, He's White!! Yes I know White is a LOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNGGGGGG way from Metallic Orange but once I say him, I knew. Well to be honest, not really, you can ask Patrick, I had a hard time making up my mind when I saw all these different colors sitting side my side on the sales lot. Some colors were easy to rule out like black, grey,red (as much as I love red,this particular red did nothing for me), the dark blue was pretty but not really me. THEN I saw this really nice light blue that was really nice but when we came to the white one, it was REALLY purtty. So after a little battle in my head (sorta like the one that happens when you are going out on a Saturday night and just can't chose which shirt to wear!!), I chose the white one.
And I an really glad I did.
So without further ado, I would like to introduce you to Taffi, my new 2009 Honda Fit Sports Coupe!!! He is really wonderful with more bells and whistles on him than I have had time to figure out. I have never had a Honda before but I would HIGHLY recommend them to everyone. After visiting a dealership or two and test driving one, we ended up in West Covina at Norm Reeves Honda. Our saleperson, Louis, was wonderful. No pressure, no sales pitch, he was seriously like someone we had know for awhile who was helping us buy a car. In a little less than two hours from the time we arrived, we were driving away with Taffi. I was really afraid with the way the economy is right it might be an nightmare to get him financed,but nope, a good price with an amazing low interest rate.
I will be posting some more pics of him later, but I really wanted to introduce him
to everyone!!
later!
ps..I think you should all know...His real name is Billy...Taffi is his Drag name>
1/7/09
Seems Just Like Yesterday..California, Here I Come!!
Well after the LONG day I had the day before, I was in no great hurry to leave early that next morning. I am usually not one to sleep in very late but I did allow myself to sleep in a little. I was surprised how sore my legs were, guess it was from all the sitting I had done the day before.
It was a beautiful that day. A clear cloudless sky and a much warmer breeze than I had experienced the day before!! It was a perfect day to drive to Texas!! Before I left vegas I called my friend, Lola to let her know where I was and she told me about how long it would take me to get to where she lived in Desert Hot Springs. For those of you who do know know, Desert Hot Springs is across the Coachella Valley from Palm Springs, about 17 miles or so. So I took out.
I was a little antsy that day and I was really wanting to get this trip over with. I was getting close and the closer I got the more excited I got. I stopped for gas somewhere and was looking at my map and was thinking maybe I could come up with a short way if I got off the freeway and cut cross country instead. To be honest, to this day I have no idea where I went and I was very thankful I had a four wheel drive truck!! I remember cutting across the desert following these small roads, some of which were dirt! But they were the lines on my map! I left Hwy 15 and was cutting across the desert and then a few hours late, I came off this dirt road and was on the Highway in Joshua Tree, California, just about 40 miles from Palm Springs!!
It was a real miracle that I found my way over the desert from Hwy 15 to where I was.
Don't know how I did it, and I know I could never retrace my route!!!
So about 2pm on January 7, 1987 I drove into Desert Hot Springs, California and into the Coachella Valley which would be my home for the next 15 1/2 years!
Sitting here now remembering all this, it is so hard to believe so many years have passed since I made this adventurous trip. It was a trip of a life time for me.
One that surely changed my entire life forever. One that started me on the path of an adventure I could not even imagine back then. And it was this trip that eventually brought me to where I am today, sharing my life with my wonderful Patrick.
The guy who left Casper, Wyoming on that early Monday morning back in 1987, could never ever begin to imagine where that trip would lead him. Following your heart is something we all forget to do today. But at that point in my life, I am very thankful that I did.
later!
ps. I have never shared the whole story of my trip to California before. Most of the details I have shared I have never told anyone, I have just always kept it in my heart. This trip is a very special thing to me, but I felt it was time I shared the details with my friends and family. Hope you enjoyed, it you have a question about something in the story, just ask me! All the details are true as best as I can remember them.
It was a beautiful that day. A clear cloudless sky and a much warmer breeze than I had experienced the day before!! It was a perfect day to drive to Texas!! Before I left vegas I called my friend, Lola to let her know where I was and she told me about how long it would take me to get to where she lived in Desert Hot Springs. For those of you who do know know, Desert Hot Springs is across the Coachella Valley from Palm Springs, about 17 miles or so. So I took out.
I was a little antsy that day and I was really wanting to get this trip over with. I was getting close and the closer I got the more excited I got. I stopped for gas somewhere and was looking at my map and was thinking maybe I could come up with a short way if I got off the freeway and cut cross country instead. To be honest, to this day I have no idea where I went and I was very thankful I had a four wheel drive truck!! I remember cutting across the desert following these small roads, some of which were dirt! But they were the lines on my map! I left Hwy 15 and was cutting across the desert and then a few hours late, I came off this dirt road and was on the Highway in Joshua Tree, California, just about 40 miles from Palm Springs!!
It was a real miracle that I found my way over the desert from Hwy 15 to where I was.
Don't know how I did it, and I know I could never retrace my route!!!
So about 2pm on January 7, 1987 I drove into Desert Hot Springs, California and into the Coachella Valley which would be my home for the next 15 1/2 years!
Sitting here now remembering all this, it is so hard to believe so many years have passed since I made this adventurous trip. It was a trip of a life time for me.
One that surely changed my entire life forever. One that started me on the path of an adventure I could not even imagine back then. And it was this trip that eventually brought me to where I am today, sharing my life with my wonderful Patrick.
The guy who left Casper, Wyoming on that early Monday morning back in 1987, could never ever begin to imagine where that trip would lead him. Following your heart is something we all forget to do today. But at that point in my life, I am very thankful that I did.
later!
ps. I have never shared the whole story of my trip to California before. Most of the details I have shared I have never told anyone, I have just always kept it in my heart. This trip is a very special thing to me, but I felt it was time I shared the details with my friends and family. Hope you enjoyed, it you have a question about something in the story, just ask me! All the details are true as best as I can remember them.
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