Wow,is it me or did Christmas seem to come and go really fast this year? Patrick and I said last year (2008) that this year we wanted to be able to enjoy the Christmas Season, since last year we were in a car accident right before Christmas and that really seem to take the fun out of it for us. So this year,somehow, we got a head start on it and were pretty much ahead of ourselves by the first of December, so we actually did get to enjoy it this year, but it all seemed to have gone by so fast!
Last weekend we started our Christmas celebration with 2 annual events we have done for several years. On Saturday evening we attended the Los Angles Gay Men's Chorus Christmas show. If you have never had taken the opportunity to see one of their shows, you are missing out on so much. They usually havwe 3 shows each Season (this year they only have 2). Each is different and the Christmas show is always our faviorite. If you think the show is only about 200 Gay Men singing songs, you are SO wrong. Of course this is singing..and dancing ...and skits to go along with some to the music,but I can garantee you will have a great time when you go.
The following afternoon we went to our other annual event, our annual Christmas Party with our Chosen Family that is held each year at the home of our really dear friends, Farah and Dan Silver. It really isn't Christmas for us until this event happens. One year I was really sick with a cold and could not go, and the Holidays really sucked for me that year. The friends we get together with here are what we call our Chosen Family. You can't help the family you are born into, but you can choose who makes up the group of friends who are the dearest to you, and that is just who these guys are. We all bring food and a white elephant gift. We sit around and eat and laugh and talk with each other and just really enjoy being together.
Sometimes we have a new person who comes with one of the regulars. This year Farah invited one of their friends and I can tell you, she really had a good time with all of us, she was fun to be around. She seemed to fit right in with this crazy bunch!!
We always have so much fun with the white elephant gift exchange, and this year as no different. We usually eat at least twice,lol and then we sit back and just enjoy each other's company. Everyone should be apart of a get together like this at Christmas, it's really a special time......
more later.....
12/27/09
12/10/09
Very Lucky Man Indeed...........
Tonight I had one of those moments when you just stop you in your tracks and realize how great life is for you.....ever had a moment like that?, I bet you have. My moment happened tonight while we were decorating the tree at Patrick's parents home, which right next door to ours. We moved Patrick's family into their house in December 2000, that year they only had a really small tree that Patrick already had, but starting in 2001, we have always had large trees that sit right in front of the big window in their living room. Each year it has been my job to put the lights on the tree and most times Patrick would help me decorate it. When we first started with the big trees the niece and nephew were 2 and 5 years old and they could only sit and watch us decorate the tree, but this year,I taught the nephew how to put the lights on the tree, and I think I may have lost my yearly job of light hanging!! He loved doing it and really did a good job. The niece is more of an ornament hanger, and she really got into it this year.
It was during this time that I was standing back and watching the Nephew having a really good time putting the lights on the tree that I had my moment....all the sudden it hit me what a very lucky man I am to be apart of these kids lives and have them be such an important part of mine. As most of you know, in my 20s I was married and we had two children, Daniel and Kelly, both of which are now in their early 30s. It has been 25 years since my divorce and throughout all of those years I have always tried to be apart of my kids lives,but a couple of years ago they decided they no longer wanted me to be part of their lives and I have not heard from either of them since. The did not actually tell me that, but through a series of events it was pretty clear to me, so I have respected their wishes and have just gone on with my life. I am sure part of it is that I am Gay,even though it has never been mentioned or discussed. I will not sit here and tell you that it was not painful, it was very painful, but when things like that happen in life, all you can do is go on with your life and let yourself heal, which is exactly what I have tried to do.
But tonight, it was a great feeling to realize what a great family I am apart of now, and how loved I am by these kids. When Patrick and I met, the Nephew was 5 and the Niece was 2, now they are 14 (almost 15) and 12, and as far as they are concerned, I am just Uncle Jaymes. Looking back over the last 9,almost 10 years that Patrick and I have been together, the kids have always been an important part of our lives. If you would have seen us out together over the years, you would probably thought they were our kids, some people have asked us that. We have taken them so many places with us, we have been Santa Clause for them all these years, been to all their school functions and I have even sat down with the Nephew and have, "The Talk", even though he got really embarrassed and pretty much knew all about it anyway. We have worked on all their school projects together and tutored them with their homework assignments when they are having problems.The Nephew loves to go to the beach with me or hiking.
One thing the kids and I have done for many years now is have "Library Night". I made sure they both had their own library cards when they were very young and they both love to read now, I am proud. It is fun for me when I am out with them somewhere and I get to meet some of their friends I have not met yet, when they introduce me as their Uncle Jaymes,I always get really funny looks from their friends since the kids are Chinese and I am very White!! But the Niece and Nephew don't seem to notice that. Recently when the Niece turned 12, she had several of her school friends over for a little party. When I came home several of her little girl friends came runny up saying "Uncle Jaymes is here" and gave me big hugs. We are sure they know Patrick and I are together, but it has never come up, and they just seem to accept it as being a normal thing. When Prop 8 was on the ballot last year, the Nephew shocked me at dinner one night by discussing with me why he thought Prop 8 was wrong and why he thought it was wrong for anyone to have their marriage voted on. Yes I was pretty speechless during the conversation.
Yes, it is funny how life turns out sometimes. Even though I don't have the
opportunity of being apart of my kids lives, I am very important to two other kids who I could not love any more even if they were my kids. And that is a pretty awesome thing!!
later
2001
2009
It was during this time that I was standing back and watching the Nephew having a really good time putting the lights on the tree that I had my moment....all the sudden it hit me what a very lucky man I am to be apart of these kids lives and have them be such an important part of mine. As most of you know, in my 20s I was married and we had two children, Daniel and Kelly, both of which are now in their early 30s. It has been 25 years since my divorce and throughout all of those years I have always tried to be apart of my kids lives,but a couple of years ago they decided they no longer wanted me to be part of their lives and I have not heard from either of them since. The did not actually tell me that, but through a series of events it was pretty clear to me, so I have respected their wishes and have just gone on with my life. I am sure part of it is that I am Gay,even though it has never been mentioned or discussed. I will not sit here and tell you that it was not painful, it was very painful, but when things like that happen in life, all you can do is go on with your life and let yourself heal, which is exactly what I have tried to do.
But tonight, it was a great feeling to realize what a great family I am apart of now, and how loved I am by these kids. When Patrick and I met, the Nephew was 5 and the Niece was 2, now they are 14 (almost 15) and 12, and as far as they are concerned, I am just Uncle Jaymes. Looking back over the last 9,almost 10 years that Patrick and I have been together, the kids have always been an important part of our lives. If you would have seen us out together over the years, you would probably thought they were our kids, some people have asked us that. We have taken them so many places with us, we have been Santa Clause for them all these years, been to all their school functions and I have even sat down with the Nephew and have, "The Talk", even though he got really embarrassed and pretty much knew all about it anyway. We have worked on all their school projects together and tutored them with their homework assignments when they are having problems.The Nephew loves to go to the beach with me or hiking.
One thing the kids and I have done for many years now is have "Library Night". I made sure they both had their own library cards when they were very young and they both love to read now, I am proud. It is fun for me when I am out with them somewhere and I get to meet some of their friends I have not met yet, when they introduce me as their Uncle Jaymes,I always get really funny looks from their friends since the kids are Chinese and I am very White!! But the Niece and Nephew don't seem to notice that. Recently when the Niece turned 12, she had several of her school friends over for a little party. When I came home several of her little girl friends came runny up saying "Uncle Jaymes is here" and gave me big hugs. We are sure they know Patrick and I are together, but it has never come up, and they just seem to accept it as being a normal thing. When Prop 8 was on the ballot last year, the Nephew shocked me at dinner one night by discussing with me why he thought Prop 8 was wrong and why he thought it was wrong for anyone to have their marriage voted on. Yes I was pretty speechless during the conversation.
Yes, it is funny how life turns out sometimes. Even though I don't have the
opportunity of being apart of my kids lives, I am very important to two other kids who I could not love any more even if they were my kids. And that is a pretty awesome thing!!
later
2001
2009
11/30/09
Still Alive And Kicking.....
Yes,believe it or not, I am still hanging out around here! I know it has been awhile since I have posted on regular basis and I am really sorry about that. As I have said before, sometimes life just gets in the way of what you had rather be doing.
But from here on out I should be posting on a pretty regular basis again, and I have alot to share with you about some of the different adventures that I have been having and haven't gotten to share with you yet. So please, just stay hang with me here!
There is one thing I do want to share with you, something that will make my posting on here alot easier. As you all know, last Friday was Black Friday and as usual was a shopping frenzied. I have only ventured out shopping on Black Friday one time, several years ago, and trust me, that was more than enough for this life time for me!!! Well,this past Friday, my dear husband got up at 4am to head out to Target,or at least that is where he told me he was going. He took the Nephew with him so he would not have to go alone. (The Nephew was actually REALLY excited about going with him, at least he was when the left, he sure had lost that excitement by the time they got back home later that day!!)
I called to check on them around 8am when I got up to see where and how they were doing. Well come to find out they had not even made it to Target yet, they went to Best Buy first and had been standing in line for almost 4 hours so he could get
a Net Book at a really low price, 4 hours!! Later in the day they got home, they both looked so tired, the Nephew headed off to bed and Patrick was getting his
second wind because the was heading back out to shop with his cousins. I won't say I thought he was crazy because I know how much he enjoys his shopping and it had been a while since he had been able to do it. But I will tell you something that
really knocked me for a loop. Just before he left to go meet up with his cousins,
he handed me the box with the new Net Book in it and said, "Here I got this for you, you have wanted one for a long time and I couldn't pass up the price".
I have to say I got a little emotional about right then, I was so over whelmed with the thought that he went out at 4 am to hopefully get a chance to get this thing, and then stood in line for 4 hours just to pay for it!!! I couldn't even say anything at that moment, and all of you who really know me know that I am NEVER speechless. He left to go for shopping round #2 and I just sat at my desk with
the unopened box trying to think of a way to say Thank You to someone who
loves me so very much. It has been 3 days now and I am still trying to think
of the right words....
later.
ps..I did not open the box until he came home later that evening, it was a very special gift and I did not think I should open it alone. It's really great!!!!
But from here on out I should be posting on a pretty regular basis again, and I have alot to share with you about some of the different adventures that I have been having and haven't gotten to share with you yet. So please, just stay hang with me here!
There is one thing I do want to share with you, something that will make my posting on here alot easier. As you all know, last Friday was Black Friday and as usual was a shopping frenzied. I have only ventured out shopping on Black Friday one time, several years ago, and trust me, that was more than enough for this life time for me!!! Well,this past Friday, my dear husband got up at 4am to head out to Target,or at least that is where he told me he was going. He took the Nephew with him so he would not have to go alone. (The Nephew was actually REALLY excited about going with him, at least he was when the left, he sure had lost that excitement by the time they got back home later that day!!)
I called to check on them around 8am when I got up to see where and how they were doing. Well come to find out they had not even made it to Target yet, they went to Best Buy first and had been standing in line for almost 4 hours so he could get
a Net Book at a really low price, 4 hours!! Later in the day they got home, they both looked so tired, the Nephew headed off to bed and Patrick was getting his
second wind because the was heading back out to shop with his cousins. I won't say I thought he was crazy because I know how much he enjoys his shopping and it had been a while since he had been able to do it. But I will tell you something that
really knocked me for a loop. Just before he left to go meet up with his cousins,
he handed me the box with the new Net Book in it and said, "Here I got this for you, you have wanted one for a long time and I couldn't pass up the price".
I have to say I got a little emotional about right then, I was so over whelmed with the thought that he went out at 4 am to hopefully get a chance to get this thing, and then stood in line for 4 hours just to pay for it!!! I couldn't even say anything at that moment, and all of you who really know me know that I am NEVER speechless. He left to go for shopping round #2 and I just sat at my desk with
the unopened box trying to think of a way to say Thank You to someone who
loves me so very much. It has been 3 days now and I am still trying to think
of the right words....
later.
ps..I did not open the box until he came home later that evening, it was a very special gift and I did not think I should open it alone. It's really great!!!!
11/6/09
Commuting To Work In Los Angeles......
Like most people who live in the LA area, I commute to work everyday. Each day I get up and drive to the other side of the City from where we live to work. Even though it is only 14 miles one day, it can take me any where from 45 mins to well over an hour. This was one of the culture shocks for me when I moved here. All my life, anywhere I had lived, you could drive 14 miles in 15-20 mins, but of course, not in LA.
I have been working in the same area of town since I moved here 7 years ago. I never take the freeway instead I take side streets and and some main avenues and totally stay off the freeways. I get to cut through some really pretty streets in Chinatown,Silverlake and Echo Park, and by doing this, I get to see things on my way to and from work that people on the freeways would never get to see.
Yesterday was like that. It was a beautiful clear morning and it was a little chilly. Just chilly enough to let you know Autumn is here but no where near full swing. I had made my way to Chinatown and had just turned on the side street that lead me up to Sunset Ave, one of the main roads I take across town. As I made the turn I notice there were several police cars parked to one side and there were a crowd of people gathered around some policeman. Since the traffic had slowed down we were inching our way down the street. Now when the weather permits I drive with my windows rolled down, which is what I was doing yesterday. As I go closer I could see two policeman had this older Hispanic guy up against the wall with his hands behind him and they were putting handcuffs on him. Standing a little further down was a very excited younger Hispanic lady talking in Spanish to two other policeman. As I got closer to them I suddenly saw a young Hispanic guy in his early to middle 20s, siting on the sidewalk holding a cloth to the left side of his face and he was covered in blood down the front of his white shirt. As I got closer to him my traffic stopped and I could hear one of the Policeman speaking to a couple of others explaining what happened. It seems the older gentleman (the one in handcuffs) was the gardener for the Apartment building there on the corner. The younger guy and the lady were walking by on the sidewalk when the older gentleman said something to or about the lady as they passed. When the younger man spoke up and told him to talk to her like that, the older gentleman stabbed the guy in the face with the clippers he had in his hand!!!! I thought wow, had I been come through there just a few minutes earlier I might have been a witness to the stabbing!!!
So the rest of my ride to work was much less eventful! BUT, it got interesting again on my way home!!! Of course now that we have changed the time back to normal time, it is dark when I get off work (which I totally HATE in case you were wondering). So that night I thought I would change up my route a little bit and take a different road over to Sunset. So I chose Santa Monica Ave, which I very seldom take because it had the heaviest traffic. So I made my way down Santa Monica with no problems (and much less traffic for some reason) and as I approached my last big intersection before I hit Sunset, I notice all these Policemen on HORSES! Now I am not talking one or two, I am talking 30 -40!! There on the darkened side streets as I made my way down Santa Monica were all these mounted policeman in every intersection, just sitting around talking to each other. I have NEVER seen a Policeman on a horse in the LA area except in parades, but there they were, all over the place! I could not figure just what was going on. But once I hit Sunset, there were no more to be seen. When I got home I checked on the computer and on the late night news but there was no mention of policeman on horses, for any reason.
Now most days as I travel to and from work, I see nothing at all except the parts of town I travel through and all the great homes and beautiful mountains. But just when I least expect it, the regular ride takes on a little excitement as unelected things take place around me, it really makes for an interesting time!
And to think, I would have missed it all had I taken the freeway instead of my back streets!! Perish the thought!!
later!
I have been working in the same area of town since I moved here 7 years ago. I never take the freeway instead I take side streets and and some main avenues and totally stay off the freeways. I get to cut through some really pretty streets in Chinatown,Silverlake and Echo Park, and by doing this, I get to see things on my way to and from work that people on the freeways would never get to see.
Yesterday was like that. It was a beautiful clear morning and it was a little chilly. Just chilly enough to let you know Autumn is here but no where near full swing. I had made my way to Chinatown and had just turned on the side street that lead me up to Sunset Ave, one of the main roads I take across town. As I made the turn I notice there were several police cars parked to one side and there were a crowd of people gathered around some policeman. Since the traffic had slowed down we were inching our way down the street. Now when the weather permits I drive with my windows rolled down, which is what I was doing yesterday. As I go closer I could see two policeman had this older Hispanic guy up against the wall with his hands behind him and they were putting handcuffs on him. Standing a little further down was a very excited younger Hispanic lady talking in Spanish to two other policeman. As I got closer to them I suddenly saw a young Hispanic guy in his early to middle 20s, siting on the sidewalk holding a cloth to the left side of his face and he was covered in blood down the front of his white shirt. As I got closer to him my traffic stopped and I could hear one of the Policeman speaking to a couple of others explaining what happened. It seems the older gentleman (the one in handcuffs) was the gardener for the Apartment building there on the corner. The younger guy and the lady were walking by on the sidewalk when the older gentleman said something to or about the lady as they passed. When the younger man spoke up and told him to talk to her like that, the older gentleman stabbed the guy in the face with the clippers he had in his hand!!!! I thought wow, had I been come through there just a few minutes earlier I might have been a witness to the stabbing!!!
So the rest of my ride to work was much less eventful! BUT, it got interesting again on my way home!!! Of course now that we have changed the time back to normal time, it is dark when I get off work (which I totally HATE in case you were wondering). So that night I thought I would change up my route a little bit and take a different road over to Sunset. So I chose Santa Monica Ave, which I very seldom take because it had the heaviest traffic. So I made my way down Santa Monica with no problems (and much less traffic for some reason) and as I approached my last big intersection before I hit Sunset, I notice all these Policemen on HORSES! Now I am not talking one or two, I am talking 30 -40!! There on the darkened side streets as I made my way down Santa Monica were all these mounted policeman in every intersection, just sitting around talking to each other. I have NEVER seen a Policeman on a horse in the LA area except in parades, but there they were, all over the place! I could not figure just what was going on. But once I hit Sunset, there were no more to be seen. When I got home I checked on the computer and on the late night news but there was no mention of policeman on horses, for any reason.
Now most days as I travel to and from work, I see nothing at all except the parts of town I travel through and all the great homes and beautiful mountains. But just when I least expect it, the regular ride takes on a little excitement as unelected things take place around me, it really makes for an interesting time!
And to think, I would have missed it all had I taken the freeway instead of my back streets!! Perish the thought!!
later!
10/22/09
A LIttle Halloween Treat....
Just a little Halloween Treat from Patrick,Timmy,the niece and nephew..of of course...ME!
ps....Thanks Timmy!
Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!
ps....Thanks Timmy!
10/18/09
10/17/09
Conquering The Bridge...
For those of you living in the LA/Long Beach area, I am sure that at some time or another you have either seen the Vincent Thomas Bridge or have driven over it. For some odd reason, I really enjoy driving over it, with the windows rolled down and the breeze blowing though the car. I don't know, its just something I like to do.
Now for those of you who don't have a clue what the Vincent Thomas Bridge is, it is a 1500 ft suspension bridge that crosses over the LA Harbor and connects San Pedro to Terminal Island in the LA Harbor. Over the years I have driven over it many times.
But this past Labor Day a friend of mine was in a marathon than ran over the bridge, that is something I just couldn't imagine.
When I found out my friend Mike was going to be apart of a marathon this past Labor Day called, you guessed it..."Conquering the Bridge", I told him I would be there to root him on and experience the whole thing for myself. As I was driving over to San Pedro EARLY that morning, I got to thinking that I had never actually attended a marathon. I had been to and participated in many walks over the year, but never a marathon, so I was a little excited about this myself.
I met Mike a couple of years ago through his girl friend, Cynthia, who is a very close friend of mine and Patrick's. He is a really great guy and I knew that he had run marathons and such before. I guess the thing that really surprised me about this one was that he was going to run the marathon and then go home (the starting line was just a couple of blocks from his apartment), get cleaned up and then go on to work like it was no big deal!! Now let me tell you, there is NO WAY I would be able to get up, run a 5 mile marathon and then go to work like it was no big deal.
I am sure I would be spending the rest of the day just trying to catch my breath and work on getting the feeling to come back into my legs!
So that morning when I got to his apartment, Mike was already down at the event getting registered and such. Cynthia met me and we walked on down to meet up with Mike. When we got there there was already a pretty good crowd gathered and more people were coming in. You could actually feel the excitement as you walked though
the crowd. There were people of all ages taking part in this, guys who were probably no more than 12-13 years old to men and woman who were in their 60s. I noticed a couple of people were going to run barefoot. Now I had read about people running barefoot from my blog buddy Jonah (jonahskye.blogspot.com) and from another blog I keep up with(larunner.blogspot.com). The very concept is nothing new to me because when I was growing up back in East Texas,my brother and cousins and me were always ran around barefoot, that included running through the woods around our house. But seeing people actually going to run a marathon barefoot did come as a big surprise to me.
So the time came and they took off and Cynthia and I sat back an waited for their return. I was actually surprised that in about 35 mins some of the runners were
crossing back over the finish line!! Now I guess I had not given much thought to how
long it would take then to do the run, but here were in a little over 35 mins cheering for those already cross the line. It was really an awesome thing to experience. There was such a show of comradery, no one was out to "beat" anyone, everyone was there to finish the marathon. Cynthia and I started looking for Mike and in what seemed like no time, there he was crossing over the finish line.(you won't see a pic of his crossing the finish line because my camera jammed just as he was getting close to it!!)
The first thing that I noticed about Mike was that even though he had just ran a 5 mile marathon over the Vincent Thomas Bridge, he looked like he had never run at all!! Me, I know just about how haggered I would have looked!, it just would not have been pretty!
So after he was finished, we walked back to his apartment,he got ready and took off for work and Cynthia and I headed to lunch! I was a great morning and I was really glad I was able to be there to be apart of it!!
later.
p.s. Running is something that has always fascinated me but it is something I just did not think I could do myself. Like I said, running was just a part of my life as I was growing up but as I got older and got a car, it just ceased being apart of my life anymore. But over the last few months it is something that has been on my mind a great deal. I know Jonah really loves his running and Billy over at LA Runner does too. They really inspire me that even at my advanced age, LOL, it is not too late to take it up again, it will just take some patience on my part to ease back into it.
You just never know, one day I could be telling you about a marathon I was in on here.
I can promise you I would never look that good after a 5 mile marathon!!
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